About BiNG GUFF
Our mission
Many historians have studied remarkable humans: Alexander the Great, Elvis Presley, or Indian mathematician and astronomer Brahmagupta, our chosen subject's personal hero. But the epic tales, great romances (Elvis notwithstanding), and crashing falls have been done to death—so we turned our attention to chronicling the life of a completely unremarkable man: Bing Guff.
Yet because he hews so close to the median in every respect, there are many Guffian stories that are not only untold, but totally untrue.
It’s with your help that we hope to uncover some of those stories.
To convince our shareholders that Bing Guff is a subject worth studying, we’re soliciting stories, poems, plays, drawings, photos, and art of any kind that includes Bing Guff in any capacity, creating an invented history of a man who’s (unfortunately for him) all too real. He can be the main character or he can make a cameo appearance—how much he’s involved in your work is up to you.
If you need any Bing Guff-related photo assets, such as those on this website, please reach out to the editors.
We invite our fellow Guff chroniclers to submit their work to us by 11:59pm PT on December 1st for inclusion in The Mostly Invented Memoir of Bing Guff: Volume 1.
Here's What We Know
After paging through years’ worth of archival documents and primary sources, we know that...
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On warm nights, Bing Guff sleeps with one sock
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Bing Guff takes 2% milk with his cereal
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Bing Guff's favorite moon is a waning gibbous
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Bing Guff hates strawberries
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Bing Guff took a line dancing class last summer
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Bing Guff checks the expiration date on gum
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Bing Guff used to be engaged
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Bing Guff wears a bolo tie twice a year
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Bing Guff is thinking of relocating to Costa Rica
